Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Back on the Trail

So many things terrify me about the prospect of dating. I'd really prefer to meet someone organically, as it were, but that's a little difficult since I'm not really all that social.

Also, whoever they are, they're not Chris. (There, I said it. Moving on.)

My sister recommended going to the Big City and hanging out with her in a coffee shop. Well, I love coffee...but she (who is married) will inevitably be hit on more than I will.

I was never exactly good at the dating thing. It took me from my senior year in high school until the second year of grad school- six years, give or take- to realize that one of the guys in my class was trying to ask me out when I shot him down about homecoming. I was dating a boy from another school who I'd met in college over the summer. Call me clueless...I never expect anyone to be attracted to me.

Maybe it's that my heart's just not in this.

I have this fabulous wardrobe. I've got all and sundry topics of conversation. My interests are widely varied. I also scare the hell out of most men.

It may be the degrees. It could be the career. Or it could just be the "big words"...I dunno...the lazy default is, "Oh, it's because I'm fat."

I've also tried to be egalitarian in my dating and the one thing it's shown me is that eventually, if I'm dating someone outside my own social class and educational level, it will be thrown in my face as a "silver spoon" argument. Only once have I dated within "my class", and it wasn't that long. At our age, they can buy younger and thinner if they want it.

I'm a bit lonely, but I'm not lonely or desperate enough to take whatever pops up this time. I don't even know where to start.

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