Here are few of the truths that I've been dealing with recently:
- There are things that you can't fix, no matter how much of yourself you pour into them
- People who are determined to remain broken are going to stay that way- don't waste yourself on them
- Betrayal hurts like a mofo (corollary: if you betray me, I will never trust you completely again)
- There's a point in life past which your damage is your fault, not anyone else's, so suck it up, buttercup. You're the author of your existence, so you have to fix you.
- When you're dismissive or disrespectful of people, it reflects poorly on you, not them
and, here's a big one:
- I may love you, but I don't have to like you.
I ran into one of my cousins who rather famously thought it was okay, at the age of eighteen, to throw rocks at twelve year-old me when I was sent to fetch him home one summer evening. All I could think, when another relative decided to make him speak to me at the funeral was "ROCKS!" I don't care how distinguished his career as a combat pilot was; to me, he will always be that mean so-and-so who considered his twelve year-old female cousin on par with a mangy dog. I'm forty-five and he's fifty-one. Rocks. That's going to be how I relate to him for the rest of our lives. I love him, but I don't have to like him.
My two greatest fears are being abandoned and being publicly humiliated; I've had to deal with both of those firsthand recently. The thing I wonder about is why someone would gripe about having no life, then verbally eviscerate his only friend. Exit gracefully- if he'd stayed for the fallout, he'd know that I did. (Again, I may love you, but I don't have to like you.) My mother would've been proud of me, although it might have ended differently if I'd had access to rocks...