Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Let Me Validate That For You

I've been thinking lately about how we look to others for validation in so many ways.

We seek validation in our work, our social lives, and our relationships. We seek it for who we are, what we are, and often, what we have or what we look like. It's the bright plumage of humanity, attracting attention when we really should be more concerned about substance over style.

The question is why do we keep seeking it from those who are loath or utterly disinclined to give it? It's like a bird that keeps flying into windows, over and over, stunning itself- yet it continues to do so. Perhaps it's not a good thing, necessarily, that after a long-fought battle to get my father's approval, I finally did when I was awarded my full professorship three years ago. There are some people who are never going to acknowledge that I'm worthy of their approval. I need to let it (and them) go.

Rationally, that's all well and good. Emotionally, argh. Sometimes I'm a girl. There you have it.

I feel ridiculous even musing on this. I've accomplished a lot in life, although those accomplishments haven't 'fit the mold' in a lot of ways. It's probably for the best that I don't have a lot of free time these days to worry about this sort of stuff.

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