Thursday, July 21, 2011

D.S. al fine

Musicians are familiar with that abbreviation. It means to play past a coda (wherein a particular passage repeats in the piece) to the conclusion. That's the metaphor du jour.

I'm a little stuck on those repeats sometimes. Today, I found a childhood friend online and I have a feeling that this time...I can move past the coda and keep moving forward, without replaying the same things over and over again. I dislike the word "closure", so let's just say that it closes a gap and ameliorates something that can never be quite totally healed.

There are some people I can live without, and others I can't. It's all too clear now that pity can't be a realistic basis for friendship, when we should've moved on. One can surely still bear love for the friends of our youth at a distance of twenty-five years and a hundred-plus miles, if one can love across the vast chasm of fifteen years and death. In many ways, they feel quite similar. Death is the easier of the two because you can never truly measure the lost potential of the one who died; the one who lived and threw away every opportunity is harder to stomach.

My world is changing with irresistible momentum. The current is too strong to waste my energy moving backwards- so it's high time to let it carry me forward.

1 comment:

Farmchick said...

Moving forward in life is so much easier than continually looking back. Why is it that we often spend so much time looking back?