Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The Flight of the Airedalebrarian

Every few years, I take a major pratfall, occasionally resulting in injury. The worst of them was probably right at Halloween of my senior year of high school- the sole of my band shoe separated and caught in the top step as I was exiting a bus at a marching contest. I fell, face-first, out onto the parking lot and shattered my left kneecap. I did, however, march the show, which concluded with the entire band kneeling; this was particularly un-fun for me, since I was wearing a 35lb. bass drum at the time and there was a rock under my damaged knee.

I was on crutches for six weeks. It was a pivotal moment in the Hopkins-Airedalebrarian association, though, since he was commissioned to carry my books from class to class and also out to the parking lot, where he was frequently pressed into service to take me home. (Try navigating a school bus with a book bag and a pair of crutches sometime...I can't say that I recommend it.) The upside of it was that it got us both out of class early. The downside was that he resented digging my books out of the bottom of our locker, and told me as much. One day, when I got particularly tired of hearing it, I tried to extract them myself and keeled over on the floor. After enduring stinging criticism from everybody in the hall at that exact moment, he resumed excavation duty without comment.

This morning, I had a sore throat, which means that I'm drinking hot tea (Piccadilly Breakfast today) instead of coffee. Our office sink's water quality is suspect, so per usual, I hiked off down the central hallway to get water from the staff kitchen instead. Halfway there, I slipped on a patch of water, executed an inelegant free fall, and landed on my right knee and elbow- although I did have the presence of mind to throw my mug down the hall, where it shattered, the sound summoning help from the Learning Commons.

I'm a little bunged up. It's okay, but I know I'll be feeling it in the morning.

A few minutes ago, the head English tutor came limping in, having taking a worse fall outside on our brand-spanking-new sidewalks. I disinfected and dressed her abrasions, and we sent her off to Human Resources to file a Worker's Compensation claim.

So, unbeknownst to us, today is Learning Commons Trip-and-Fall Day, just in time for Finals. My supervisor just expressed doubt as to the safety of going up the hall to the lavatory. I know I'm going to be pret-ty careful when I go home tonight!

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