Saturday, October 23, 2010

The Girl With the Green Hair

Long, long ago, in a lifetime far, far away, I had purple hair...for about fifteen minutes until the band director caught me and made me wash it out before the color set.

In the intervening years, I discovered artificial hairpieces. Most of the ones I have match my natural color, although I had a couple that I wore to work on a regular basis that had blue and purple, respectively, mixed in with my chestnut brown. I've worn electroshock pony-puffs, a clip-on ponytail, crimps, braids, you name it...because I just can't bring myself to torture my hair as much as I used to in high school.

See, back then, product was my friend. Unlike my peers, my mother would not allow me to get a perm. Everything death-defying that my hair did, it did with a quantity of mousse, gel, and freeze spray, aided and abetted by curlers and/or a curling iron. It's a wonder I wasn't bald by the time I was twenty. Although my hair was extremely short on one side, if I left it alone, the center section was chin-length and angled. Usually I curled it and teased it out, but some days when I didn't have time or wasn't feeling the urge to stand in front of the mirror for an hour, I just brushed it out straight and let it hang punkily across my right jawline.

Several weeks ago, I lit upon the idea of having a pair of yarn ponyfalls made to match the school colors so I could wear them to the state marching band championship, which happens to fall during Halloween weekend. When I didn't hear from the crafter who was making them, I panicked a little and ordered a set of regular synthetic-hair ponyfalls in a combination of platinum blonde, lime green, and emerald green...also, technically, the school colors. I hope at least one or the other arrives in time- so if you happen to be at Papa John's Stadium in Louisville, Kentucky during KMEA finals on October 30th, look for the fortyish woman with the long green hair...and stop by to tell me 'hi'.

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