Friday, January 22, 2010

Llama Llama Ding Dong

My sister has a way of getting into *ahem* unique situations. Last summer, while outside the house where she cares for several mentally challenged adults, she encountered a llama. It was the middle of the night, and in the yard was this llama, just standing there, minding its own business.

Since llamas are not indigenous to the Big City, she called 9-1-1. The dispatcher asked if she'd been drinking, told her to go somewhere and sober up, and hung up on her.

She went back outside and was confronted with...a different llama. The first one was black-and-white, and the new llama was that medium-brown llama-color. She called 9-1-1 again, and their reaction was, you got it, the same as before.

She tried calling Animal Services, to no avail. She left a message on the zoo director's voicemail. it was clear after a while that the llamas were her problem and hers alone for the foreseeable future.

Eventually, her cell phone rang. "Um, ma'am, did you call 9-1-1 to report a llama at your residence earlier this evening?" Oops. Someone had reported their llamas missing. She told them yes, she'd called twice about two llamas, and yes, they were still hanging around. In the meantime, as she waited for Big City's Finest to arrive, she went in to feed her charges their breakfast. One of the llamas marched up to the kitchen window, prompting a resident to yell, "HEY! That's a LLAMA!" One of the others responded, "NUH-UH!" and so it went until all of them were crowded around the kitchen sink, staring out at the llama.

When the police finally arrived, my sister went out to talk with them. She told them, "Whatever you do, don't chase the llamas. They're skittish. They'll only run."

Try to imagine a panting, overweight cop as he runs up a fairly busy suburban residential street, chasing a fleeing llama. They should've listened. [Ed. note: According to my sister, the police were chasing these animals with guns drawn. She stood in the street yelling at them, and they'd stop to flip her off or threaten her with arrest. ~Airedalebrarian]

What happened is this: some teenagers got drunk and let the llamas out of their pasture near the Big City Zoo. They drifted to the neighborhood where my sister saw them, where they were captured after hot(and sweaty) pursuit by the Big City PD. The owner, in lieu of fines for unrestrained animals, agreed to provide the police with llama-wrangling lessons.

Everytime we see anything with a llama motif that's not too expensive, we buy it for my sister. She also presented me with a llama finger puppet, in honor of my having had everyone we know call and leave a message on her phone: "LLAMA LLAMA LLAMA LLAMA!"

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